1) Feelings of Powerlessness
2) Lack of Trust
3) Unmet Expectations

When we feel powerless we often find ourselves trying to convince, manage or control the circumstance. This leads to over-efforting, in other words trying to hard. This intensity can repel rather than attract what we most want. The quick solution is to look for all the power you DO have instead of what you don’t. Be aware of “all or nothing” thinking.

When we struggle to trust, we aren’t vulnerable and real. We often try to be who we think we are supposed to be, rather than who we really are. In this place, we feel alone and isolated. Look for opportunities to begin building trust. Be trustworthy by offering freely what you most want for yourself. There is no place in relationship where the golden rule works as miraculously as in trust building.  

When expectations are unmet, we can develop a sense of entitlement or resentment. We feel “wronged” and in feeling wronged we look for evidence to support that feeling. We have difficulty staying in the present and often look back at what we haven’t received or look forward to what we feel we deserve or want for ourselves in the future. Identify what you want right now in the present and communicate. Resist the temptation to look back or “future trip.” Refuse to resent. Stay present, right here and now.