Category: Pattern Work
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A Thousand Tiny Goodbyes
It was nothing. It’s expected even, right? Part of the ebb and flow. That’s where your mind goes as you read the polite message declining the renewal. The rationalization arrives before the disappointment does. It arrives so fast you almost miss the fact that something just landed. Something that stings a little. Something that, if…
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The Loneliest Job In The World
“You are performing with a confidence you don’t entirely feel, for people who need you to feel it.” I’ve worked with entrepreneurs for over twenty-five years. The fearless leaders who can’t talk about what they really feel are the ones I think about most. Entrepreneurship requires that you show up confidently, allaying everyone else’s fears…
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Why Have Our Fights Gotten SO Bad?
“The fight you keep having isn’t new, it just has more fuel.” The cycles of conflict you have as a couple haven’t changed exactly, but they have become more intense. The old patterns were always there. But they weren’t always like this. There’s a difference between a familiar argument and a familiar argument amplified by…
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The 6 AM Email
By Sydney Ashland She sent the email at 6:00 am, from bed, without a second thought. She had been rolling over an issue from work that had been mentioned the previous day. It was only said in passing. It wasn’t something she had even agreed to research, but before she fell into bed, she felt…
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Your AI Coach Doesn’t Know You’re Lying to Yourself
On The Seduction Of Being Understood By Something That Can’t Feel The Weight Of What You Are Avoiding The Observation The AI coaching market just crossed $5 billion. Venture capital is thrilled. Your nervous system remains completely unimpressed. I’m still trying to catch my breath. Every week I watch another breathless announcement: an app that…
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Two People. One House. Two Completely Different Worlds.
On the invisible battle happening behind closed doors in high-achieving homes. She scanned the driveway again for the twelfth time or maybe it was the fifteenth. She’d lost track. It wasn’t that big of a deal, at least that’s what she kept telling herself. It was just an argument. Couples argue. She knew this better…
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You Look Like You Have It Together-But Do You Feel Like It?
She sat in boardrooms in corporate America. She knew how to read a room, how to speak with authority, how to hold her ground in a meeting full of people who assumed they were the smartest one there. She dressed well. She delivered. She performed so exceptionally that she almost convinced herself it was the…
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The Martyr
When Sacrifice Becomes the Strategy Let’s talk about martyrdom. There is a particular kind of exhaustion that lives in high-achieving people. It doesn’t come from laziness. It doesn’t come from lack of vision. It comes from a pattern so deeply hard-wired, it doesn’t even feel like a choice anymore, it feels like your identity. You…
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Why Overfunctioners Attract Underfunctioners
“The tragedy of the overfunctioner is that the stronger they become, the less support they receive.” Why the Strong One Always Ends Up Carrying Everything One of the most common patterns I see in couples, families, and leadership teams is this: The more one person overfunctions, the more the other underfunctions. And in this scenario…
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If My Life Is Changing, Why Are My Struggles Always The Same?
Many of us are startled to arrive at a point in life very different than where we imagined we would be. That realization can feel disappointing, confusing, frustrating, discouraging– especially for the highly motivated person, reaching for the stars. You’ve done the work:New relationships.Career growth.Expanding awareness.Therapy.Coaching.Personal development. And yet, somehow, here you are again. Experiencing…